When I Am Through With You by Stephanie Kuehn

Title: When I Am Through With You

Author: Stephanie Kuehn

Year Published: 2017

Link to Buy: Amazon

Genre: Fiction, YA, Suspense, Thriller, Crime, Twist Ending

Summary:

Ben Gibson is many things, but he’s not sorry and he’s not a liar. He will tell you exactly how what started as a simple school camping trip in the mountains ended the way it did. About who lived and who died. About who killed and who had the best of intentions. And he’ll tell you about Rose. But he’s going to tell you in his own time. Because after what happened on that mountain, time is the one thing he has plenty of. Smart, dark, and twisty, When I Am Through With You will leave readers wondering what it really means to do the right thing.

Ten Sentence Review:

I know I enjoyed this book because I couldn’t put it down until the final page. It surprised me constantly, from the unexpected (and sometimes downright dumb) choices every single character made to the way the pace and sense of urgency changed with each act of the story. It begins as a slow introduction to the characters and the finer points of orienteering, transitions to a frenzied and violent thriller, and ends almost abruptly back in Ben’s prison cell. Although Ben’s character growth was very deliberately commented upon, I still appreciated that he was introspective enough to experience growth at all. Then again, he started and ended adolescence by shooting someone in the head, so maybe he didn’t grow as much as I initially thought.

My two favorite parts both came at almost the end of the book: Tomas confessing everything to Ben, and Lucy visiting Ben in prison as his psychiatrist. The importance of forgiveness was just as heavy-handed as Ben’s development, but both these scenes showed Ben that not everyone will abandon him the way his parents had.

And then, of course, we get to the biggest twist of all: the money never existed, the preacher and his brother had never been escaped convicts, and Rose lied which lead to Archie’s death (and possibly everyone else’s too). We’ll never know Rose’s reason for lying about the money because Ben took it upon himself to end her suffering minutes before the rescue team arrived, but I’d be willing to bet they were more complicated than anything Ben assumed they were. He’s a little boy who would rather die than make decisions, who is suffering from chronic migraines and probably emotionally stuck at the age of his original trauma and injury, and then he finally decides to kill the girl to whom he’s said countless times he’s grateful for deciding everything since they started dating.

3.5/5, rounded down to 3/5 for GR. 

The Deep by Rivers Solomon

Title: The Deep

Author: Rivers Solomon with Daveed Diggs, William Hutson, and Jonathan Snipes

Year Published: 2019

Link to Buy: Amazon

Genre: Fiction, Supernatural, Fantasy, LGBTQ+ Novella

Summary:

Yetu holds the memories for her people—water-dwelling descendants of pregnant African slave women thrown overboard by slave owners—who live idyllic lives in the deep. Their past, too traumatic to be remembered regularly, is forgotten by everyone, save one—the historian. This demanding role has been bestowed on Yetu. Yetu remembers for everyone, and the memories, painful and wonderful, traumatic and terrible and miraculous, are destroying her. And so she flees to the surface, escaping the memories, the expectations, and the responsibilities—and discovers a world her people left behind long ago. Yetu will learn more than she ever expected to about her own past—and about the future of her people. If they are all to survive, they’ll need to reclaim the memories, reclaim their identity—and own who they really are.

Ten-Sentence Review:

Everything about this book, from the ebb and flow of the narrative to the non-chronological delivery of the plot, gives the reader a real feeling of floating through the deep ocean. The creatures--called Zoti Aleyu meaning Strange Fish, also collectively referred to as the Wajinru--are tactile beings with sensitive skin and minds, and I felt each cold wave and grain of salt along with them. The poetic prose dropped me into a universe where everything feels as off-beat and uncertain as floating in the open ocean.

The lesbian love story in this book is so subtle, and I hadn’t previously seen this title on any queer book lists, so I wasn’t expecting Yetu and Oori to end up together; it snuck up on me in the most satisfying way! You could even argue that since the Wajinru don’t particularly have genders they’re not lesbians so much as a generally-queer-kind-of-fem-probably-neurodivergent-inter-species-but-not-weird-because-one-is-a-merperson couple. I loved the gender fluidity throughout the whole book among Wajinru and humans alike, especially when Yetu explains that they are born with similar bodies but “there were men, women, both, and neither. Such things were self-determined…” (chapter 7).

In the last few years, I’ve noticed a trend of books with especially sad or violent storylines still ending happily for the characters who deserve it. I usually love a messy, chaotic ending where nothing is resolved because it’s true to the way most things in real life end up, but I couldn’t think of a better ending than the tidy bow The Deep is tied into during the final pages. Yetu and Oori find true belonging in one another, Oori finds a deeper heritage which is still connected to her lost community, and the Wajinru are learning to share their memories so they can all find peace. Instead of furthering generational trauma, the Wajinru experience a healing rebirth that they truly deserve.

5/5 and then some!

Here is the song "The Deep" by Clipping. Prepare for goosebumps.