100% Match by Patrick C Harrison III

Title: 100% Match

Author: Patrick C Harrison III

Year Published: 2022

Link to Buy: Amazon 

Genre: Fiction, Horror, Extreme Horror, Splatterpunk, Mental Illness, Novella, Thriller, Twist Ending

Summary:

Bart is thirty. He is bald. He is overweight. He wears glasses. He is a fry cook. He hates cats. And kids. Bart occasionally does very bad things. He is looking for his perfect match. He has done his research.

Ten-Sentence Review

This is yet another splatterpunk book that I will not recommend unless you know what you’re getting into—but if you’ve walked this disgusting road before, read 100% Match immediately! The only thing I loved more than main character Bart’s nonsensical depravity was the unexpected twist at the end. I read the whole thing in two short sittings, but unlike other horror novellas I’ve read, this one is the perfect length for the story. I would definitely read a prequel where we find out why Bart is the way he is, but this is a rare time when I feel that really isn’t necessary. The whole point of Bart’s existence is chaos and I wouldn’t want to ruin it by finding out about his childhood trauma. 

The narration was very American Psycho, describing the minutiae of everything he does without explaining why he does it; much like Patrick Bateman, we don’t know if this is because the narrator thinks the reasons are obvious to us, or because he doesn’t bother to assign reason to his actions at all. The main difference between the two characters is that Bateman is notoriously unreliable, but I’m fairly certain everything Bart describes is actually happening. Bart also has distinct similarities to Tyler Durden from Fight Club, and not just because of his additions to recipes at his fast-food job. 

Bart’s fatal flaw is assuming Sara is just another generic woman he can manipulate into thinking he is the perfect partner… But, he doesn’t seem too disappointed in the outcome when she reveals her true motives. 

5/5

Against Medical Advice by Ruth Anna Evans

 Title: Against Medical Advice

Author: Ruth Anna Evans

Year Published: 2024

Link to Buy: Amazon

Genre: Fiction, Realistic Fiction, Horror, Medical Horror, Mental Illness, Novella

Summary:

Frank's six-year-old daughter Maddie is sick. Very sick. Her mother is out of town and he's on his own to handle the emergency. But the doctors can't find anything wrong and money is quickly running out. Frank is desperate, and he begins to consider the unthinkable. Shelly is a social worker with a pill problem. When a case spins out of control, she finds herself out of pills and at the end of her rope. Then she gets a call to check into a tip from an A father who may be making his own daughter ill. Will Shelly intervene in time, or will she fail to save a child...again? From the author of OH FUCK OH FUCK IT HURTS comes this gripping, fast-paced novella of medical horror that will make you How far would you go when the only thing you can do is Against Medical Advice?

Ten-Sentence Review

The desperation and poorly processed childhood trauma of both main characters, Shelly and Frank, are what makes this too-short novel really special. Shelly allows her dependence on Xanax to get in the way of her social worker job, and Frank allows his paranoia over his daughter’s illness and their lack of money to push him to do something completely irrational. They both make poor decisions that may or may not be totally their own fault. 

When you have PTSD you aren’t always in your right mind when you get triggered, and Evans captures that perfectly in both people’s fractured thoughts and frazzled actions. I can’t say that I would have jumped straight to home surgery as quickly as Frank does, but he watched his mother waste away in the hospital when he was a teenager and has no trust left for the medical profession. 

The descriptions of abused and neglected children are so heartbreakingly accurate, and I appreciate how good Shelly is at her job even as she’s wrestling with her own demons. It was refreshing to see a horror novel where the characters have consciences and good intentions, but everything still goes terribly wrong. 

Solid plot, beautiful writing, realistic characters, and a strong resolution. My only complaint is that it was too short! I’d love to see a sequel about what happens to Frank in prison, his daughter and wife’s life without him as Maddie gets older, and Shelly checking in on them as her habits and PTSD either get better or much, much worse. 

5/5

Slashtag by Jon Cohn

Title: Slashtag

Author: Jon Cohn

Year Published: 2023

Link to Buy: Amazon

Genre: Fiction, Horror, Thriller, Mystery, Haunted House, Supernatural, Ghosts, Twist Ending, Ensemble, LGBTQ+

Summary:

Welcome to Slashtag, the most immersive horror reality competition series in history! Tag along as seven of America's favorite celebrities step into the infamous Propitius Hotel, home to one of the most prolific serial killers in history - Arthur Wilson.

Arthur built and operated the Propitius Hotel from 1905 until 1928 when dozens of bodies were found in his hotel, along with countless hidden torture rooms throughout the hotel. Arthur disappeared, seemingly never to be caught. He then returned - nearly 40 years later - under the guise of a priest leading a congregation of 100 people back to his hotel, where he once again committed mass murder.

Enter Tawny Howlett-- a top-tier lifestyle influencer who is in the midst of the crappiest week of her life. Her brand new health drink turned out to be tainted, and now thousands of her followers want nothing more than to see her social media empire crumble. In order to rehabilitate her image, she's agreed to take part in "Slashtag: The Ultimate Horror Experience".

At first it's all fun and games, until the team of seven celebs discover that the ghost is very real, and out for blood. In order to survive the three-day live-streamed event, Tawny and her fellow contestants must band together to try and send the spirit of Arthur Wilson straight to hell.

"I suddenly wish that I were just crazy. A hallucination would mean my brain is broken, which is something I’ve spent my entire adult life attempting to accept. If we’re both seeing this, it means the world is broken in a way my brain is not prepared to confront."

While Tawny has her hands full trying to survive a weekend at the Propitius Hotel, it's up to her younger sister April to work from the outside to try and find a way to save her sister, and uncover the dark truth behind the TV network that continues to air the deaths of some of America's top talent.

Together these seven doomed souls must solve the puzzles hidden within the hotel in order to vanquish the spirit of Arthur Wilson.

Ten(ish)-Sentence Review:

When I start reading a book without knowing much about the story, it takes me a while to relax into the narrative and start enjoying myself—Slashtag was no different, although when the action started moving rapidly, so did my reading speed! 

I love the unique and dynamic characters in this book. Todd is a realistic caricature of someone raised so desensitized to violence and the supernatural that he’s grown apathetic toward both, which is something we don’t often see in members of a high-powered and evil ruling class. April is a total badass defined by her wit, cleverness, and fortitude rather than her disability, and she is definitely the Jiminy Cricket I’d want on my shoulder if I got dropped into a real-life horror movie. D-Wreck/Derek’s character growth is out of this world, going from perpetual class clown to almost-Final-Boy in the most genuine, lovable way possible, and winning Tawny’s respect in the process. I found Tawny a little generic, even after all her trauma-dumping and strength-finding, but that could have been an intentional writing move since many Final Girls tend to be a little more mainstream than the rest of the ensemble. 

And then, of course, we must discuss Shawn, the sweet, sensitive, strong, smart, gay, black man who stole the third act and my heart. His friendship with Tawny and gentle nature are apparent from the beginning and his tragic backstory clues us into his personality’s many layers, but I am so happy this book kills the “black guy always dies first” trope AND the “bury your gays” trope with one single, heavy, and perfectly lobbed stone (although “bury your gays” is more mainstream and not specific to horror). In a book that stresses the importance of following every horror movie rule, these are a couple that I’m overjoyed the author chose to ignore. 

It would be a crime not to mention the amazing craftsmanship that went into this plot; the About the Author section tells us Jon Cohn is also a game designer, and as soon as I read that everything about the in-book game made sense. From the twisty-turny obstacles the characters face, to the meta horror movie references that feel like a warm blanket of nostalgia a la the Scream franchise, this book is begging to be adapted into a video or board game. 

Speaking of horror movie references, I think the best and most poignant one was Tawny’s explanation of Cannibal Holocaust, The War of the Worlds, and other mass hysteria pop culture events that turned out to be fictional. Introducing the idea of hyper-realistic horror content that scares the public but ends up being fake, then the majority of the book taking place inside one of those events that the public is ambivalent or excited about but that ends up being real, is a genius writing move. This pairs perfectly with the realistically modern cast of characters and predictably evil board of directors to create the perfect storm of no one being able to say for sure what’s real and what’s not. 

Without giving away too much of the ending, I want to mention two important parts of it. First, wandering through the tunnels looking for board members was reminiscent of the equally meta end of Cabin in the Woods, in keeping with the nods to other horror content. Second, the jaw dropping exposure of “His” multi-layered identity was artful, cathartic justice. I had started getting a little annoyed at how little Tawny and April reveal about their encounter with Him that seemed to define their entire lives, but after they told the full story I understood and wouldn’t have rewritten a single word of that scene. 

Since the violence and gore are satisfying but not overwhelming, I would recommend this book for anyone down to teens, and even some tweens if they’ve tried adult horror before. I absolutely loved this immersive journey through an intentionally haunted hotel. 

5/5

No One Rides for Free: Absolute Chaos by Judith Sonnet and Otis Bateman

 Title: The Groomer

Author: Jon Athen

Year Published: 2020

Link to Buy: Amazon

Genre: Fiction, Horror, Splatterpunk, Thriller, Crime, Extreme Horror

Summary:

In the original book, No One Rides For Free, by Judith Sonnet, there was a warning halfway through the story, which told readers to be cautious with the foul, disturbing, and disgusting material they were about to encounter.

This time . . . YOU DON’T GET A WARNING!

The twisted Otis Bateman and unhinged Judith Sonnet have joined forces to bring you a book that goes ALL THE WAY. NO ONE RIDES FOR FREE (ABSOLUTE CHAOS) is an exploration of evil and wickedness, unlike anything you have read before. You’ll swear you can smell the blood on the pages!

A group of college students stop by a roadside attraction on their way back from spring break, only to become trapped in a life-or-death fight with two roaming psychopaths, Buster and The Man! Fiends, whose bloodlust knows no boundaries!

If you are at all easily shocked or offended, this book is going to BUTCHER you!

Ten(ish) Sentence Review:

In this second installment, Judith Sonnet and Otis Bateman evolve The Man from a gas station carjacker to a legendary serial killer with a ride-or-die partner and decades of notorious history. The authors expertly expanded his character from the first novella, No One Rides for Free, while keeping his goals and desires relatively simple: to cause as much misery and carnage as possible. The addition of his partner Buster, and the constant reminder that they each unconditionally support the different pleasures their partner gets out of each attack, humanizes them both in a way that almost makes the reader root for them even as they remove girls' body parts with rusty blades and scratch their disease-infested balls. 

If there was one thing I found especially gratuitous (within the forest of gratuity that was the entire book), it was the unrealistically high number of orgasms. Maybe I'm outing myself as someone with a low sex drive, but I find it hard to believe that anyone would have an unwanted, accidental orgasm in the midst of torture and abuse. Even if she has a secret, excitingly taboo incest fantasy; even if he's a horny virgin with a micropenis who's never gotten a blowjob; even (ESPECIALLY) if it feels kinda food but she is fully aware that tongue belongs to her dog. The only orgasms I can realistically believe are the ones had by The Man, Buster, and Cunningham. 

I also have a complicated relationship with all the euphemisms for body parts throughout both the narrative text and the dialogue. I love how diverse they are because it makes the near-constant descriptions of vaginas, anuses, and penises less repetitive, but it also gives the narration a comical element that I'm not sure the writers were aiming for. I can only hear terms like "beef curtains" and "chocolate starfish" so many times before I start picturing the whole gory, tragic story as scenes from some bizarre snuff cartoon from the dark web. 10

The most important thing I can say about this book is: don't read it. If you're not prepared, seriously do not do this to yourself. The only splatterpunk theme not shown in graphic detail is baby eating, but even that is mentioned more than once. However, if you're already a fan of extreme horror and splatterpunk, and if you TRULY understand what you're getting into, you should absolutely give this book a try. If you can get past all the bodily fluids, it's a masterpiece of intricate storytelling. 

I'm pretty excited to see if there will be a third installment to the series, especially after leaving this one's ending on an infuriatingly tantalizing cliffhanger.

Also, this is a spoiler, but shout out to the lesbian being the final girl <3 

3.5/5, rounded up to 4 for Goodreads. 

The Groomer by Jon Athen

Title: The Groomer

Author: Jon Athen

Year Published: 2020

Link to Buy: Amazon

Genre: Fiction, Horror, Splatterpunk, Thriller, Crime

Summary:

Andrew McCarthy grows concerned for his family after he catches a young man, Zachary Denton, photographing his daughter, Grace McCarthy, and other children at a park. To his dismay, Zachary talks his way out of trouble when he’s confronted by the police. He hopes that’s the end of it. Then he finds Zachary at a diner and then at a grocery store. He knows their encounters aren't coincidences. And just as Andrew prepares to defend his family, Grace vanishes. As the police search stalls and the leads dry up, Andrew decides to take matters into his own hands. He starts by searching for sex offenders in the area and researching enhanced interrogation techniques... He convinces himself he’ll do anything to rescue his daughter, unaware of the pure evil he'll face in his journey. He’s willing to hurt—to torture—anyone to save his family.

Ten Sentence Review:

Although I knew going in that violence involving children in The Groomer would be difficult to read, and although I consider myself a pretty seasoned splatterpunk reader, I was almost unprepared for the scenes with the two little boys--you'll definitely want to proceed with caution, and probably won't want to make this your first-ever "extreme horror" read. 

I liked the main character Andrew's unlikely arc from suburban dad to psychopathic torture machine, and I truly believe that exact thing could happen to someone overnight after losing their child the way he did. The cops aren't moving quickly enough and he has access to the internet, so why not? The first two torture scenes are incredibly creative and had just the right amount of gore (read: a shitload), but they don't move the plot forward or get the reader invested in Andrew's cause as much as they would if the men being tortured were actually connected to his daughter's case in any way. As is, the beginning of his vigilantism is a random search for whatever offenders happen to live nearby, kicking down their doors, and demanding information on his child without a clue as to whether they're even involved. 

The final scene with the titular groomer was ALMOST everything I wanted it to be. This guy is exactly as pathetic as he should be and I hate him exactly as much as I'm supposed to, but as terrible as his punishment is, it still doesn't feel long or bad enough. I was actually surprised at how tame it is compared with what Andrew does to the other guys earlier in the book, especially after hearing the brutal details of what the groomer did to Andrew's daughter Grace. 

The epilogue first broke my heart with Andrew's son Max saying goodbye to his father and sister at the funeral (possibly leaving it open to a sequel where Max follows in his vigilante father's footsteps?), and then made me want to puke with the ~other~ thing that happens at the very end...with the jar... 

This book made me feel something during a very numb week, and for that, I appreciate it. 

3.5/5, rounded up to 4 for GR.

I Found a Circus Tent in the Woods Behind My House by Ben Farthing

Title: I Found a Circus Tent in the Woods Behind My House

Author: Ben Farthing

Year Published: 2023

Link to Buy: Amazon

Genre: Fiction, Novella, Horror, Supernatural

Summary:
Dave and hie four-year-old, Jacob, find a circus tent in the woods behind their house. A strange voice invites them through the dark doorway. 

When they refuse, the tent swallows them.

What follows is a nightmare fleeing through a maze of circus tents. Strange performers lurk inside. They want Dave and his little boy to put on a show. The audience: a shifting figure on a platform high above the trapeze wires.

With Jacob perched in the crook of his arm, Dave determines to outsmart the boss of this dark circus, and escape this horrifying tent.

Ten Sentence Review:

This short novel presents a believable surreality that is absolutely dripping with creativity. Yes, there are clowns and circus performers, but not like you've seen before. The theme of minimizing your child's trauma is prevalent throughout, and Jacob is a very realistic four-year-old. Father and son stop to take breaks from running, eat snacks, lament forgetting to bring water, and play games to distract from their terrifying situation. This humanity was made even more delightful after reading the "Why I Wrote This Book" author's note at the end. 

One thing in this otherwise excellent story was very frustrating: in over an hour of complaining about arm pain and realizing he can't do various tasks while holding Jacob in one arm, Dave never once puts Jacob on his back piggyback-style to free up his hands. He even straps him on with a yoyo string at one point (the thinnest, flimsiest string I've ever encountered), but never considers shifting the kid to his back and telling him to hang on tight. This was surprising considering their clever use of circus props to get away from the performers.

The pacing of this book is spot on and really builds the suspense. Several instances of foreshadowing that worse things are still to come made me want to keep turning pages and find out--as the author says--"what the hell is happening." 

I would have loved more information on who the performers are, their backstories, and how the tent came to exist. Even without that info, this is an original and very scary story with several satisfying twists. 4/5.

Unbortion by Rowland Bercy Jr

Title: Unbortion

Author: Rowland Bercy Jr

Year Published: 2023

Link to Buy: Amazon

Genre: Fiction, Horror, Splatterpunk, Novella

Summary:
It was alive, confused, and pissed! It could not understand why it was violently separated from its host and left to rot. Following an undeniable call to pursue the one who abandoned it and seek revenge, the quest for retribution had begin, and nothing or no one would stand in the way.

Ten Sentence Review:

This novel was an enjoyable, funny, gross journey that left me with a lot of questions. Questions such as, "Wouldn't a placenta get dirty after rolling around a city all night and making a full pass through multiple people's bodies?" I decided to suspend those questions along with my disbelief, and truly enjoyed most of this bizarre tale. 

I only wish the dialogue and narrative were both a little less stilted and awkward, and that we could have really seen through the fetus' eyes through its real level of knowledge.  Unless there was a dictionary in that dumpster with him and the spaghetti, I have no idea how it knew the correct words for things like raccoons and single-family homes. 

Unbortion runs the risk of seeming like pro-life propaganda. The fetus is desperately seeking its host and even says the word "Mommy," and its mother regrets her abortion as soon as she gets home. Not to mention the description of unethical and brutal abortionists. Then again, these are also all pretty standard descriptions in splatterpunk. I don't think the feeling of propaganda was intentional on the part of the author or something that everyone would pick up on. 

While I'm worried that Ashley and Katrina will both need a round of serious antibiotics, I overall enjoyed this weird, fantastical romp in the Land of WTF Horror. 3/5.

Head Like a Hole by Andrew Van Wey

Title: Head Like a Hole

Author: Andrew Van Wey

Year Published: 2023

Link to Buy: Amazon

Genre: Fiction, Horror, Supernatural, 90's

Summary:
It's the mid-nineties. Grunge and flannel are fading as the Spice Girls and Hot Topic conquer the malls. Cherry gloss glistens on the lips of the youth. Modems hiss as America comes online. And in a fog-drenched cove at the edge of New England, something terrible awakens when a fisherman reels in a gruesome catch: the remains of a young woman.

Remains still pulsing with furious life.

For Megan Monroe and her friends, this is hoe their nightmare begins: a wet whisper over the shoulder, a dark hand reaching out from the edge of their sight, a name clawing at the back of their minds. 

A young woman scratched from their memory.

To stop this devouring terror, Megan will need to mend broken friendships and reassemble her fractured past, for what stalks them hungers to remake itself in their image... piece by bloody piece.

Dig into the haunted past with Head Like a Hole, a novel of malignant secrets, shattered friendships, and twisted bodily horror.

Ten Sentence Review:
I finished this book in less than 24 hours. The pacing made it feel like I was passing time at the same rate as the characters. It felt more like watching a horror movie than reading a book, but blissfully longer lasting. After a slow-ish first ten chapters, I was floored by how engaging the story was. 

The detailed (and disgusting) descriptions of body horror were mixed surprisingly with elements of marine biology and fantasy. When the cause of Oksana's condition was finally revealed I didn't know whether to laugh, sigh with relief, or scream, so I kind of did all three. I fell in love with the character of Chun-hee and she became the main character for me whenever she was present.

The big final confrontation in the story-within-the-story, and then the FINAL final reveal, were insane in the best way. My jaw still hurts from staring with my mouth wide open for about an hour. 

I'm so excited to read more by this author. 5/5!