100% Match by Patrick C Harrison III

Title: 100% Match

Author: Patrick C Harrison III

Year Published: 2022

Link to Buy: Amazon 

Genre: Fiction, Horror, Extreme Horror, Splatterpunk, Mental Illness, Novella, Thriller, Twist Ending

Summary:

Bart is thirty. He is bald. He is overweight. He wears glasses. He is a fry cook. He hates cats. And kids. Bart occasionally does very bad things. He is looking for his perfect match. He has done his research.

Ten-Sentence Review

This is yet another splatterpunk book that I will not recommend unless you know what you’re getting into—but if you’ve walked this disgusting road before, read 100% Match immediately! The only thing I loved more than main character Bart’s nonsensical depravity was the unexpected twist at the end. I read the whole thing in two short sittings, but unlike other horror novellas I’ve read, this one is the perfect length for the story. I would definitely read a prequel where we find out why Bart is the way he is, but this is a rare time when I feel that really isn’t necessary. The whole point of Bart’s existence is chaos and I wouldn’t want to ruin it by finding out about his childhood trauma. 

The narration was very American Psycho, describing the minutiae of everything he does without explaining why he does it; much like Patrick Bateman, we don’t know if this is because the narrator thinks the reasons are obvious to us, or because he doesn’t bother to assign reason to his actions at all. The main difference between the two characters is that Bateman is notoriously unreliable, but I’m fairly certain everything Bart describes is actually happening. Bart also has distinct similarities to Tyler Durden from Fight Club, and not just because of his additions to recipes at his fast-food job. 

Bart’s fatal flaw is assuming Sara is just another generic woman he can manipulate into thinking he is the perfect partner… But, he doesn’t seem too disappointed in the outcome when she reveals her true motives. 

5/5

Slashtag by Jon Cohn

Title: Slashtag

Author: Jon Cohn

Year Published: 2023

Link to Buy: Amazon

Genre: Fiction, Horror, Thriller, Mystery, Haunted House, Supernatural, Ghosts, Twist Ending, Ensemble, LGBTQ+

Summary:

Welcome to Slashtag, the most immersive horror reality competition series in history! Tag along as seven of America's favorite celebrities step into the infamous Propitius Hotel, home to one of the most prolific serial killers in history - Arthur Wilson.

Arthur built and operated the Propitius Hotel from 1905 until 1928 when dozens of bodies were found in his hotel, along with countless hidden torture rooms throughout the hotel. Arthur disappeared, seemingly never to be caught. He then returned - nearly 40 years later - under the guise of a priest leading a congregation of 100 people back to his hotel, where he once again committed mass murder.

Enter Tawny Howlett-- a top-tier lifestyle influencer who is in the midst of the crappiest week of her life. Her brand new health drink turned out to be tainted, and now thousands of her followers want nothing more than to see her social media empire crumble. In order to rehabilitate her image, she's agreed to take part in "Slashtag: The Ultimate Horror Experience".

At first it's all fun and games, until the team of seven celebs discover that the ghost is very real, and out for blood. In order to survive the three-day live-streamed event, Tawny and her fellow contestants must band together to try and send the spirit of Arthur Wilson straight to hell.

"I suddenly wish that I were just crazy. A hallucination would mean my brain is broken, which is something I’ve spent my entire adult life attempting to accept. If we’re both seeing this, it means the world is broken in a way my brain is not prepared to confront."

While Tawny has her hands full trying to survive a weekend at the Propitius Hotel, it's up to her younger sister April to work from the outside to try and find a way to save her sister, and uncover the dark truth behind the TV network that continues to air the deaths of some of America's top talent.

Together these seven doomed souls must solve the puzzles hidden within the hotel in order to vanquish the spirit of Arthur Wilson.

Ten(ish)-Sentence Review:

When I start reading a book without knowing much about the story, it takes me a while to relax into the narrative and start enjoying myself—Slashtag was no different, although when the action started moving rapidly, so did my reading speed! 

I love the unique and dynamic characters in this book. Todd is a realistic caricature of someone raised so desensitized to violence and the supernatural that he’s grown apathetic toward both, which is something we don’t often see in members of a high-powered and evil ruling class. April is a total badass defined by her wit, cleverness, and fortitude rather than her disability, and she is definitely the Jiminy Cricket I’d want on my shoulder if I got dropped into a real-life horror movie. D-Wreck/Derek’s character growth is out of this world, going from perpetual class clown to almost-Final-Boy in the most genuine, lovable way possible, and winning Tawny’s respect in the process. I found Tawny a little generic, even after all her trauma-dumping and strength-finding, but that could have been an intentional writing move since many Final Girls tend to be a little more mainstream than the rest of the ensemble. 

And then, of course, we must discuss Shawn, the sweet, sensitive, strong, smart, gay, black man who stole the third act and my heart. His friendship with Tawny and gentle nature are apparent from the beginning and his tragic backstory clues us into his personality’s many layers, but I am so happy this book kills the “black guy always dies first” trope AND the “bury your gays” trope with one single, heavy, and perfectly lobbed stone (although “bury your gays” is more mainstream and not specific to horror). In a book that stresses the importance of following every horror movie rule, these are a couple that I’m overjoyed the author chose to ignore. 

It would be a crime not to mention the amazing craftsmanship that went into this plot; the About the Author section tells us Jon Cohn is also a game designer, and as soon as I read that everything about the in-book game made sense. From the twisty-turny obstacles the characters face, to the meta horror movie references that feel like a warm blanket of nostalgia a la the Scream franchise, this book is begging to be adapted into a video or board game. 

Speaking of horror movie references, I think the best and most poignant one was Tawny’s explanation of Cannibal Holocaust, The War of the Worlds, and other mass hysteria pop culture events that turned out to be fictional. Introducing the idea of hyper-realistic horror content that scares the public but ends up being fake, then the majority of the book taking place inside one of those events that the public is ambivalent or excited about but that ends up being real, is a genius writing move. This pairs perfectly with the realistically modern cast of characters and predictably evil board of directors to create the perfect storm of no one being able to say for sure what’s real and what’s not. 

Without giving away too much of the ending, I want to mention two important parts of it. First, wandering through the tunnels looking for board members was reminiscent of the equally meta end of Cabin in the Woods, in keeping with the nods to other horror content. Second, the jaw dropping exposure of “His” multi-layered identity was artful, cathartic justice. I had started getting a little annoyed at how little Tawny and April reveal about their encounter with Him that seemed to define their entire lives, but after they told the full story I understood and wouldn’t have rewritten a single word of that scene. 

Since the violence and gore are satisfying but not overwhelming, I would recommend this book for anyone down to teens, and even some tweens if they’ve tried adult horror before. I absolutely loved this immersive journey through an intentionally haunted hotel. 

5/5

When I Am Through With You by Stephanie Kuehn

Title: When I Am Through With You

Author: Stephanie Kuehn

Year Published: 2017

Link to Buy: Amazon

Genre: Fiction, YA, Suspense, Thriller, Crime, Twist Ending

Summary:

Ben Gibson is many things, but he’s not sorry and he’s not a liar. He will tell you exactly how what started as a simple school camping trip in the mountains ended the way it did. About who lived and who died. About who killed and who had the best of intentions. And he’ll tell you about Rose. But he’s going to tell you in his own time. Because after what happened on that mountain, time is the one thing he has plenty of. Smart, dark, and twisty, When I Am Through With You will leave readers wondering what it really means to do the right thing.

Ten Sentence Review:

I know I enjoyed this book because I couldn’t put it down until the final page. It surprised me constantly, from the unexpected (and sometimes downright dumb) choices every single character made to the way the pace and sense of urgency changed with each act of the story. It begins as a slow introduction to the characters and the finer points of orienteering, transitions to a frenzied and violent thriller, and ends almost abruptly back in Ben’s prison cell. Although Ben’s character growth was very deliberately commented upon, I still appreciated that he was introspective enough to experience growth at all. Then again, he started and ended adolescence by shooting someone in the head, so maybe he didn’t grow as much as I initially thought.

My two favorite parts both came at almost the end of the book: Tomas confessing everything to Ben, and Lucy visiting Ben in prison as his psychiatrist. The importance of forgiveness was just as heavy-handed as Ben’s development, but both these scenes showed Ben that not everyone will abandon him the way his parents had.

And then, of course, we get to the biggest twist of all: the money never existed, the preacher and his brother had never been escaped convicts, and Rose lied which lead to Archie’s death (and possibly everyone else’s too). We’ll never know Rose’s reason for lying about the money because Ben took it upon himself to end her suffering minutes before the rescue team arrived, but I’d be willing to bet they were more complicated than anything Ben assumed they were. He’s a little boy who would rather die than make decisions, who is suffering from chronic migraines and probably emotionally stuck at the age of his original trauma and injury, and then he finally decides to kill the girl to whom he’s said countless times he’s grateful for deciding everything since they started dating.

3.5/5, rounded down to 3/5 for GR.